Monday, May 23, 2005

What Does it Take to Make Life Better? by Neil Millar



What does it take for you to pay attention?

Youve probably heard this said, or said it yourself sometime, I just realised how precious life is. Maybe you heard it when a relative died or maybe you said it after an accident or some other emotional event, but did you stop to consider the grander meaning to what you say

What if every experience in your life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what your life is all about?

Just for a moment, consider the possibilities within that question.

What if it were true, would you be prepared to pay more attention to the events in your life and the meaning behind them. If youre not satisfied with your situation in life and have an issue or two youd rather not handle then please read onhumour me, the author of a thriller, a public speaker and the writer of personal development books and newsletters.

It took a bump on the head to make me pay attention to issues in my life. And when I say bump, I mean a fourteen foot drop head-first onto concrete!

I dont recommend it!

But worse than the bang on the headconcussion, a few broken bones, nine stitches and colossal bruisingwas the fact that I lived and that meant I had to pay attention to things Id been ignoring.

My life changed quicklydivorce, change of homes, selling my businessit literally turned on its head in a matter of weeksand before I knew it the husband the father, the business partner in me had all be stripped away and Id been left a shadow of myself wondering who I was and what I was doing. But this is when something magical happened.

A man I meta man from the other side of the world, a man who I travelled over two hundred miles from where I lived to meet quite by chanceand he said something quite profound to me. It shaped my life from that day on.

Learn to live with your self, he told me. It sounded like great advice, but pretty quickly I discovered a floor in his idea With all the issues I had to deal with I certainly had no idea who I was anymore. And that was when an elegant blonde from Germany crossed my path

And when she disappeared from my sight I felt a pang in my stomach that I should not have felt. Let me explain.

I had been browsing inside a bookstore, looking through my favourite section as the clock ticked down and the store manager spoke in my ear. Can you make your way to the till, he said. I did as he asked, unaware that his request was going to be the beginning of a life purpose lesson and the answer to who I was.

At the moment I accepted my change, the receipt and my purchase that I looked up and saw her, crossing the road outside the shop. She walked up to the store door, tossed her hair, blonde and shiny in the street lights, over her shoulder and smiled nervously.

The store manager snapped before the woman could speak. You aint coming in, we're closing.

Tis okay, the woman said, in broken English. She unfolded a piece of paper and thrust it out to the Store Manager. I am looking for the Warwick Road. I am lost. Can you help me?

Aint got a clue, the manager shrugged. As I eased through the gap between the woman, the door and the store manager, I was appalled by his attitude. He managed a bookstoresurely they stocked a map!

Then I thought Warwick Road. Warwick Road I know that road Where is it? Where is it?

As the moments rushed by, the woman disappeared, melding into the dark, busy streets of London. Then I remembered the A-Z map I had in my hotel bedroom, which was no more than one hundred yards away. I knew I would have to run to catch her up, but as I started to run, something happen.

It all unfolded in my imagination: A woman walking the streets in London, approached by a man jogging after her, calling out, I can help. I can help, and saying follow me back to my hotel. I have an A-Z map up in my room!

It didnt add up.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I let her go. I let her go into the darkness of a London night alone And this is what happened to me when I got back to my hotel room.

It bothered me that I had not helped the woman and I paced the floor. It bothered me so much I ended up looking for Warwick Road on the A-Z map. I found it, right at the end of the road my hotel was on and for that matter where the bookstore was located! Right then I spotted the bag my new book was in and shook it out and it fell out onto the bed open on a page with a very odd question.

It asked a question. Who are you?
Immediately I knew why I was so bothered by my inability to help the woman. In that moment it all made sense to me. I had become so frustrated because I knew that I could have helped that woman and didnt. I knew I was here to help people find direction in life. And that realisation led to another

It really was quite ironic as I thought about the events: here I was, supposedly not lost and yet a woman who had admitted to being lost had made me think about my life again. The fact that she had been lost and I had failed to help gave me a wonderful reminder of who I was and what my life path is all about. This woman who claimed to be lost had most definitely given me directions back to who I am; thats the who that got lost in all those life issues.

What if every experience in life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what life is all about?
Dont wait for a death or an accident to realise who you are and what is important to you. Live life now in every moment!
About the Author
Acclaimed by a New York Times Best-Seeling Author as "A master..." Novelist and personal development writer, Neil Millar invites you to take to a look at the Unstoppable Life website and find out how to:

Get the free monthly newsletter he writes with Personal Development Coach Jo Ball and obtain a complimentary copy of his book Greater Steps to Happiness.

Discover more: www.unstoppablelife.com

10 Steps to Happily Ever After by Slade Hartwell



Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, and you will find a wife who respects and trusts her man. We live in very selfish times. Pop-psychology messages are everywhere in the media encouraging us to love ourselves, do right by ourselves, and generally please ourselves first. If you really want a happy marriage, dont buy into that type of self-centered thinking. Instead, try these 10 time-tested techniques and experience the happiness, peace, and tranquility of a healthy marriage.


1. Make time for each other. Its so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set aside a little time to enjoy each others company. Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy. Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.

2. Take time off from each other. Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.

3. Make little romantic gestures. Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met.Send flowers for no particular reason. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouses emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.

4. Fight fair. Dont argue in front of other people. Dont insult each other or each others families. Never threaten divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and dont make a big deal out of every disagreement. Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in the long run?

5. Take interest in what interests your spouse. Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.

6. Listen to your spouse. Husbands, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen. Dont interrupt, or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what shes feeling. Ladies, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your husband does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. Its not a good idea to "unload" on him right when he comes home from work.

7. Accept your spouse for who they are. Practice total acceptance. Dont hold your spouse to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.

8. Express your commitment. In little ways, you can, and should, renew your vows to each other over and over. Your spouse will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the marriage. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence in the relationship. Let your spouse know that you really are in it "till death do us part."

9. Trust in each other. Dont be suspicious. Dont snoop through each others belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your spouse in all things. Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.

10. Make it your aim to be your spouses best friend. Appreciate your spouse for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other. If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being your spouses best friend the ultimate relationship in marriage.
About the Author
Slade Hartwell, Webmaster at www.ezromantic.com
Romance Relationship Resources We offer tons of romance and relationship help such as: great articles, advice, love poems, book reviews, gift ideas, romantic travel guides, a relationships forum, and more.