Stop Relationship Stress and Create Your Own Health Remedies by Pat Swan, MS, Life and Relationship Coach

Stop Relationship Stress and Create Your Own Health Remedies by Pat Swan, MS, Life and Relationship Coach

Human beings need relationships. Your relationships, past, present, personal or professional, represent a major source of stress in your life. Chronic stress causes breakdown of your immune system. This leads to many emotional and physical disorders including heart disease, fibromyalgia, cancer, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, and depression.

You can manage your stress many ways. Stress management strategies include deep breathing, relaxation exercises, physical exercise, meditation, and yoga.

But did you know that if you reduce your interpersonal stress you can improve health? Most of my clients who suffer from depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses complain about one thingrelationship problems at work or at home.

Like most people, I am sure you have heard a million times that you must quit smoking to reduce risks of cancer and enhance health. Have you heard the results of divorce studies about men and divorce? These indicate that men going through divorce experience stress related damage equal to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

Is the opposite true? If you reduce conflict in your relationships and avoid divorce, do you create a health remedy?

Im sure you know that we must exercise, eat healthy and watch our cholesterol if we want to avoid a heart attack. But have you heard that an element closely linked to heart disease has been defined as the hostilityfactor, or cynical mistrust of others? then it must follow that if you improve your conflict resolution skills and manage your anger you create cardiovascular health remedies.

We know that most individuals surviving cancer will try many complementary and alternative options to lengthen their lives. But did you know that studies have shown that women surviving breast cancer can double their survival time if they are involved in a close, intimate support network?

These and many other studies confirm the fact that healthier relationships lead to better health, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Most of us did not learn effective interpersonal skills at home. So why do so few individuals consider relationship skills training right from the start, before the stress becomes chronic? Probably because we havent been made aware of the facts.

The good news is that anyone can improve their relationships through learning simple skills including active or reflective listening, conflict resolution, behavioral changes, and thought management, among others.
If you want less stress, and more fun and fulfillment in your life, consider exploring options for relationship skill building.

Whether the relationship is past or present, personal or professional, you can make it better and get healthier in the process.
About the Author
Pat Swan, M.S., LMFT: Life & Relationship Coach, Speaker, Trainer, Author of Watch Out! Your Relationships Can Be Hazardous To Your Health. http://www.RelationshipSkillville.com and http://www.StopRelationshipStress.com . Mailto:pat@patswan.com .

It's Not That Bad Yet? by Pat Swan,

It's Not That Bad Yet? by Pat Swan,

ITS NOT THAT BAD YET?

Can you think of a word or phrase that irritates you? Possibly when your teenager rolls his or her eyes and says, Whateevverr. For me it is this phrase. ITS NOT THAT BAD YET. Have you ever thought like this or do you know anyone who does?

I will give you an example. A person might say, I am really worried about my 14 year old. He comes home intoxicated two or three times a week and I am sure he smokes pot. I ask if they have him in counseling. They say, Oh no, its not that bad YET. Or someone says, My marriage is going to pot. We fight all the time and I dont know what to do. I ask, Have you thought of marriage counseling? Oh no, its not THAT bad yet.

This phrase keeps people stuck in miserable jobs, unfulfilling lives and eroding relationships. It is the reason people become more stressed, more depressed, more sick. It is the reason we have a 50 percent divorce rate. It tricks us into thinking we do not have to DO anything YET. We continue to tolerate the intolerable, and to wait for a miracle. What exactly do we mean when we say this?

ITS not that bad yet.

What exactly is not that bad? Your life? Your life isnt that bad yet? That sure sounds like a life to jump out of bed full of energy for every day. Your marriage isnt that bad yet? Is that the kind of marriage you went looking for? Is that the kind you want to keep? Or is it the fighting, the drinking or the stress on the job not that bad yet?

Its not THAT BAD yet.

How bad is THAT BAD? How will you know when it is THAT BAD? If you wait, will it be too late to do anything about it? Imagine how you would feel if you went to the doctor with migraine headaches. He calls you back in a couple days and tells you they found something on the x-rays. They dont know what it is, but dont worry, its not THAT BAD yet.

Or consider this. You see a few bugs around the house. You call in the Orkin man. He looks around and then tells you that he found evidence of termites. They have quite an appetite, those little critters. Munch, munch, munch. Call him next year. Its not THAT BAD yet.

Its not that bad YET.

Does this mean you completely expect that it will get that bad some day, but its not that bad yet? Or could it mean that you believe that it will miraculously improve without your doing anything, and it never will get that bad? Most of the people I talk to mean this. Its not that bad YET and Im too darn busy to worry about it right now, so dont bug me with it until it is that bad. When it gets that bad Ill worry about what to do about it. When will that be? When you get served divorce papers, when you develop an ulcer, or become clinically depressed?

What is the answer?

What can we do about this kind of thinking? How can you feel motivated to make changes? How can you help others get motivated to do something before its too late? Ask this compelling question. IS IT AS GOOD AS IT GETS YET?

Is your life as good as it gets yet?

Do you have a jump out of bed full of energy with a smile on your face kind of life? Why not? You deserve it. What are you waiting for? Or do you have a STAY IN BED with a smile on your face kind of relationship? Why not? What are you waiting for?

Dont wait.

What are you waiting for? Are you waiting until you have more money, have more time, the kids grow up, or you retire? Why kill time? You have only one life to live. You can have a great life right now.

You dont wait until the termites eat away the foundation of your house. Why wait till your partner serves divorce papers? You dont wait until the tumor is inoperable. Why wait until your life or your job gets so bad you become depressed or sick? Dont wait until its too late and you have nothing left but regret.

How do you start?

Decide what you want that you dont have. Decide what you have that you dont want. Write them down. Develop multiple action plans to get what you want or to solve the problem. Decide what plan works best for you. Write it down. Begin to follow the plan, step by step. Is your life as good as it gets yet? Why not. What are you waiting for?

What if you get stuck?

If you know that you want more, and you have a plan, but you get stuck, what can you do? Hire a coach. Is your life as good as it gets yet? Are you on the way? If not, why not? You can do it. What are you waiting for?

About the Author
Pat Swan, M.S., Life and Relationship Coach, http://www.RelationshipSkillville.com . Pat is a speaker, coach, and author of Watch Out! Your Relationships Can Be Hazardous to Your Health, available at http:// www.StopRelationshipStress.com . Stop relationship stress and discover secret remedies for better health. Mailto:pat@patswan.com . Phone, 262-642-5706.

Divorce online service. Why should we lose money and time applying for divorce? by James Wood

Divorce online service. Why should we lose money and time applying for divorce? by James Wood

It is usually easier to marry than to divorce, especially if the spouses who wish to do so must divide their common property as well.

Divorce is extremely difficult business in rich families. For wealthy Americans in this case, it is accepted that the former husband or wife may pay rather large sums of money for the divorce process. It is not enough that the divorce in itself involves strong emotional stress, so they also pay an extra thousand on top of the $10-20,000 to lawyers to carry out this occupation, and sometimes it is even more.

Why should we lose the money and time applying for divorce, if there is the cheap and fast alternative - divorce online. You find the site, take your mouse, you press on the button - and you are a divorced person. With a minimum of formalities, as in Las Vegas, for the conclusion of a failed marriage appears the divorce.

To terminate a marriage on site, a couple wanting to apply for divorce need only a credit card and a computer with access to the Internet. The divorce case was finished within 30 minutes and cost $199.

People who hate discussing and relaying specific instances in dialogues with lawyers use the services of the site. In the virtual world of divorce, the couple that does not require court, after inputting all necessary data for divorce, merely prints the forms, signs them, and sends them to the judge. That is all.

The high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general divorce discussion.

A company like LegalHelper.net that supplies online documents for divorce disagrees with the opinion of opponents that cheap divorce can minimize the importance of divorce. It is true that the divorce will cost them only $249 but this will not push the majority of people to end less-considered marriages faster and more often. Similarly, the high cost of lawyers has not forced people to refuse divorce. The deep reasons for divorce lie in the emotional - sensual sphere. The most painful and unpleasant situation is dialogue with a third party hired to engage in and bear your personal problems in general discussion.
About the Author
James Wood is a free-lance writer on family issues; his main goal is to help people during their complicated period of life in regards to divorce and separation.

Website: http://www.legalhelper.net/divorce.aspx